Mountain Top.

Today at our respective workplaces, Sarah (aka Rah Rah) decided to play Mountain Top over g-chat. If you're not familiar, the game is simple. Imagine yourself on a mountain. Three other people are there with you. For some reason, you must marry one of them, have a one time bone-session with another, and throw the last person off the mountain to their certain gruesome demise. It's a classic!

Now, I promised Rah Rah that I would take out people's names so that they won't hate us. But my theory is that the conversation will still be amusing. And if it's not, feel free to say so. And if you think you were one of the people used in the game... yes, you probably were.

These are just abstracts taken from the whole conversation, I'll put a marker between subjects.


Climb the mountain with Marg & Rah Rah...

Me: okay... I'm doing one with a theme. *Redacted 1*, *Redacted 2*, *Redacted 3*. The theme was homosexuals!

Sarah: hahaha, what a great theme! Just to refresh, it's sex marriage throw, right?

Me: yes. 

Sarah: Good. I didn't want to make my decision and then find out I'd messed up. Ok. *Redacted 2* would go off the mountain for sure. I'd marry *Redacted 3* because he's much easier to negotiate with and doesn't yell at me. And I'd have sex with *Redacted 1* both due to the process of elimination and I think it would be hilarious to tell *Also Redacted* all about it. (*Redacted 2 is gone because once he kicked me out of a party, and no one likes that gets any piece at all). 

--

Sarah: Ok, *Redacted 4*, *Redacted 5*, and *Redacted 6*

Me: French *Redacted 4*?

Sarah: Yah, you know "ello, this song is for Jeffrey!" 

Me: Your theme is GROSS! Okay, I would toss *Redacted 4* before he got me first! And I would have to, and I actually feel physically ill saying this, bone *Redacted 6*. From behind. With a gas mask on. Me, not him. Well... him too. 

--

Sarah: as a side note, why didn't you tell me that my lettuce would shrivel up in the microwave?

Me: you didn't ask. 

--

Sarah: I would marry *Redacted 7* because he likes the shows I like, and he is funny and kind and likes to drink at all times. 

--

Sarah: *Redacted 7* *Redacted 8* *Redacted 9* but here's the catch, *Redacted 8* comes with *Redacted Girlfriend*!

Me: Oh no! That ruins everything, because I would totally marry *Redacted 8* even though he is secretly evil. But I can't have a sister-wives situation going on. So I guess I'll marry *Redacted 9* and since I've been there done that with *Redacted 7*, he gets tossed. And I'll have a threesome. 

--

Sarah: Lady edition: *Redacted 10* *Redacted 11* *Redacted 12*

Me: I would have sex with *Redacted 11* because she needs to have sex with somebody! I'd toss *Redacted 10*. And I'd marry *Redacted 12* because she would make me lovely Picnik photos. 

--

Sarah: Old school edition: *Redacted 13* *Redacted 14* *Redacted 15*

Me: That is old school! I'd marry *Redacted 14*, 100%! And I'd bone *Redacted 13* because I already know he's good at it. Poor *Redacted 15*.

Sarah: Really? I would marry *Redacted 15*!

Me: No way. He has very small hands. Would you toss *Redacted 13* or *Redacted 14*?

Sarah: *Redacted 13* I guess. 

Me: Good. I'd certainly rather see him go than *Redacted 14*, my husband. 

--

Me: I like *Redacted 16* and all, but you know... belly-button tattoo. Belly-button tattoos are deal breakers. 

-- 

Sarah: as for *Redacted 17*, she annoys me and is way too into pokemon but she's short so I think it'd be quick and painless.

Me: Do you imagine short people to be quick lovers?

Sarah: In her case I certainly do.