People I look like (apparently.)

Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl. (As two customers made a point of animatedly telling me today - one even proposed based on this. Also, fuck off.)

Emily of New Moon. (Obviously.)

Annie Edison. (When Ben is feeling generous)

The A&W Bear. (When Ben isn't*.)

"That girl from that show... you know, Two & a Half Men!" (As yelled at me from across a street in Etobicoke)

"The actress in Definitely, Maybe... not the one he ends up with." (I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know which actress the guy who works for my former landlord was talking about.) 

"My ex-girlfriend... Jackie Kennedy!" (As said to me by an old man in Downtown Toronto.)

So really, any lady with dark hair? Or a bear. 

*Technically he said that my dress was the A&W colours, but I had so much fun running wild with that one.

My guhlasses!

Carrie: So... you know how you were saying that dude sitting motionless in front of the scuba shop was creepy?

Me: Yeah. Is he a mannequin?

Carrie: Sure is!

Me: Ha! I wasn't wearing my glasses!

Carrie: Oh dear, I can't tell the difference between people and inanimate objects without my guhlasses!

Me: I can't!

Carrie: P.S. Why don't you just wear your glasses? You'd save yourself so many one sided conversations with mannequins and arguments with cardboard cutouts. Is it that you're worried your friends will think you look like a nerd? Because let me tell you this: any mannequin that would say that is NOT your real friend.

Matthew is the best

My friend Matthew is the best person to go shopping with. He will be completely honest with you about what you're trying on - unless he thinks it will be hilarious for you to walk around like that.  He will try on things that he knows he will look hilarious in, as well. He will pose for pictures in those things.

He is the best person to eat cookies with. And whole cakes. And you can both announce that you are fatties who need more of both and then you will have some. You will consume hot chocolate too and maybe ice cream, and then more cookies. 

Matthew is the best person to watch movies with. Usually you'll like the same things, and when you don't, you'll both have interesting reasons why and will be able to talk about them. He is very good at knowing who is in what, but he can't spell anyone's name. 

In that same vein, Matthew is the very best for playing games with - like the movie game where knowing who is in what is of vital importance. He is up for a challenge. He thinks up creative variations. He is the best at games. 

Matthew is the best to be in plays with. Even if you both have really small parts, you will have the best time trying to make each other laugh with your characters. He will have the best ideas like suggesting you put booze in your prop-Booster Juice cup. 

He is the best for going on walks with, because he doesn't care if they have a destination, and he never complains that his feet hurt, and he likes discovering farms in the middle of cities. Matthew is the best at having long-walk-conversations with. You laugh a lot during long walks.

He is also the best for dancing around apartments with. You both keep straight faces like a two person dance party isn't the most ridiculous thing ever. He doesn't call you out on the fact that he is a better dancer than you are. He does have a good eye for everyone's signature dance move.

Matthew is the best for being the best even when you're far away from each other. His bestness knows no bounds.

Happy Birthday to the best Matthew that ever was best! All my love and missing-ness!  

Dabble

Mary: Also I applied for a hip hop festival..lol. They didn't hire me!!

Me: What? Idiots!

Mary: I know! I would have been a great token white gurl!

Me: literally the only person more suited for such a position would be me, obviously.

Mary: Well yeah! In the interview they were like.. "I feel that the hip hop scene might be new to you"... My response.. "I dabble!"

Me: hahahahaha Was this a face-to-face interview? In which you said the word "dabble"? About hip hop?

Mary: Yup!

Me: I love you

Mary: lol I was wearing my argyle sweater pencil skirt and pearls... couldn't have looked more politicians wife!

Me: Perfect

Benjamin Button

Marg: I saw a Benjamin Button today!

Ben: Ew. What?

Marg: He was as tall as a 10 year old, dressed about that age, but bald and with old man skin. 

Ben: Weeeeird.

Marg: He was wearing sunglasses and had a Blackberry. I have no idea how old he was. 

Ben: Did he talk?

Marg: Yeah, and it was a strange voice. 

Ben: I guess it would have to be. 

Marg: I'm still very confused,and I'll never get to know the real deal. 

Ben: I hate stuff like that.

Marg: So I'm going with Benjamin Button syndrome. That's a thing, right?

Ben: It is now. You met Benjamin Button. THE Benjamin Button. 

Marg: I should have asked him about all his slowly plotted adventures and similarities to Forrest Gump.

Ben: Well, that's obviously the studio's take on his life. Might not have quite went down that way... as he is still old.

Later, Benjamin Button returned, and Ben passed him, but I was unable to point him out for obvious reasons before Ben left. 

Marg: That was Benjamin Button! Did you notice?

Ben: WHAT! NO! YOU SHOULD HAVE COUGHED "BENJAMIN BUTTON"! Once I got home I somehow knew you'd tell me that's who it was.

Marg: really? I was trying to empart that onto you psychically. He took off his sunglasses, but I am no closer to discovering the truth. 

Ben: Well, clearly you should have asked.

Marg: If only it was acceptable to ask Benjamin Button type people how old they legally are.

Ben: Ha! Maybe some don't mind. 

Marg: And ask them how old they feel, spiritually*.

*I'm like... 4. Or 82.