I'm taking you hostage.

Please tell your family, this is my list of demands:

- A case of Fudgesicles (not chocolate popsicles)

- Altogether more Amanda Fucking Palmer

- A very french striped shirt ala Jean Seberg

- The Freaks & Geeks DVD.

- A red polka-dot dress. 

- Playtime with a cool dog in a park.

- A parrot.

When my demands are met, me & my parrot & you will go watch Freaks and Geeks on DVD and then have a picnic. Your family will be all like "What is this noise? We thought this was a kidnapping!" and you'll say, "Nah, just fuckin' with you." 

Parrots live for like... forever. So, you're probably going to have babysit it sometimes.