Cool as a Cucumber.

Matthew: Nice job slick rick.

Marg: I know… I’m a smooth operator. 


Which brings us to...

Marg’s List of Things Not to Call or Say to Someone of the Opposite Sex:
(every one of which she has said to someone of the opposite sex, or called them which they later discovered)  

1) An Armchair Intellectual*.
2) “No seriously, I saw your exact outfit on one of the mannequins at American Eagle.”**
3) “Are you  sure you’re not gay?”***
4) Anyone’s “handbag”****
5) “You exude absolutely zero sex appeal for anyone.”*****
6) “You’re more attractive from side on then the front…”******
7) An asshole.*******
8) "We should like... date!"********

If I have ever said something reprehensible to you, feel free to remind me of the fact, and I will add you to a 2nd list! 






*Ouch.
**To be fair, it was true. 
*** Not insulting in the least, except not something you should drunkenly bring up to someone you're dating. 
**** Oh god!
***** Because that is never even true, and you will get proved wrong by someone, and it is mean.
****** Even though it was true, it was very mean.
******* I don't know when this became the meanest thing to say, but anytime I've said "you're such an asshole" the guy has acted as though I insulted them unforgivably, and argued with me the next day about how much of an asshole they are not. This has happened more than once.
******** No, Marg, no! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!