That's one hip tampon you got there.

Ben and I were watching TV, and a commerical for U by Kotex came on. It was the one where the boring old wall is attacked by a hoard of fashionable young ladies who transform it into a funky mural. You know, to sell feminine hygiene products.

Ben: Is that really necessary?

Marg: It's Kotex. They're re-branding to try and be cool.

Ben: Who sees your maxi-pad that it has to be cool?

This man, who will never bleed from his vagina because he doesn't have one, made a fantastic point about the absurdity of a "cool" tampon company. Who the hell cares? Who sees that but you? 

Now, I have respect for some of the Kotex commercials which aim to cut-the-crap about typical tampon ads. Twirling around in white skirts and doing the splits and leaking blue liquid for 5 days is not actually an accurate representation of the menstruation experience. And those Kotex spots about a girl trying to make dudes run into the store and pick her up some 'pons: pretty funny stuff, and also, suck it up menfolk. 

But, obviously this company is just replacing one kind of marketing-bullshit with another. Now instead of trying to sell you a happy period they are trying to sell you a way-cool one. But they are really just shilling something to stop you from making a mess of yourself, and trust me, you're not any more awesome a person because you've bought a tampon that comes in a hot pink wrapper rather than a white one.

Personally, all I really want from companies like these is for them to make a product that allows me to do just that - that is, not make a mess of myself. To gain my business, they really don't need to appeal to my inner-desire to ride a horse in a white leisure suit, or my jaded rebel side who just wants her tampons her way. No, all they need to do is be reasonably priced and very functional. And fuck off with the mystery blue liquid.